Emotional Intelligence (Daniel Goleman, 1996)

I primarily read this as a gateway to learning more about emotional intelligence in work environments. It seems a little crazy to delve into that without approaching the fundamental work first. And Goleman's book is fundamental indeed. Sometimes it gets lumped in with buzzy business and self-help books like Who Moved My Cheese and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and even the very subtitle feels more like a sales pitch than an accurate assessment of what's inside ("why it may matter more than IQ!!!" - exclamation marks added by me).

Goleman works from the inside out, starting with some pretty science-intensive brain structure discussion. It is important to recognize that our "lizard brain" way down deep is the home of emotions, the things that have their origins in survival responses to primitive dangers. In one particularly memorable story, Goleman talks about the man who suddenly found himself in a river. His "deep brain" had detected a danger (a drowning child) and his empathetic response kicked in before even his eyes had registered the situation. In effect, the emotional response was even quicker than the five senses, which connect up in the lofty regions of the cerebral cortex, where higher reasoning functions happen.

Recognizing emotions as they happen are a big part of the book. Anger, for example, when it goes unrecognized, can fuel more anger, causing it to spiral out of the control, and, depending on the situation, the emotion can trigger coldly methodical and frankly evil responses in the higher functioning part of the brain. For example, the anger from being cut off in traffic leading to sophisticated dreams of murdering the offending motorist.

As with many things, recognizing the emotions and managing them (not blocking them) is best learned at an early age. Therefore, Goleman spends a substantial amount of time discussion educational programs to instill emotional intelligence in children which will help them greatly as adults. This is probably where Goleman's heart was (and still is) when he wrote this book. The emotions should not control us, nor should we attempt to block them with every fiber of our being. Learning to acknowledge and contextualize the emotions every "normal" human being experiences is fundamental to how we operate as a civilized society. I cannot recommend this book enough, especially to those seeking to understand themselves from within.